Dumas 4
Before we are moms, we are women. Before we are women, we are girls. Before we are girls we are children. Few things have stayed constant in my life through all of these stages. My family, my faith and the desire to be a mother. I loved baby dolls as a child. I would enter a world where I was in control of those around me and they had to do what I told them. I foolishly thought that would happen when I became a mother. When I was a girl, I decided I would have 3 children. Two girls and a boy, just as my mother had. I foolishly thought that I got to decide these things when I became a mother. When I became a woman, I decided I would also have a wonderful career alongside these 3 perfect children. I foolishly thought I could do it all. As I lay here in bed recovering from a very simple surgery that had lasting effects on my ability to have more children, there is a photo in my direct line of sight. Its a black and white photo that I cherish. It is from a vacation we took before Emma was even 1 year old. We went to Colorado for a week in the summer to escape the heat of Texas, and the busyness of life. On our way home we stopped in Dumas, TX for a picture. There are not that many people who have the honor of having a last name like Dumas. It is often mispronounced, I'm sure my husband was teased terribly as a child, and I'm certain my daughters will hate it when they hit the 'tween years. But I married into this name. It came with the man I love so I like it. Just before you get to Dumas, Texas, there is a sign that reads "Dumas 4" indicating that you are just 4 miles from the thriving metropolis of Dumas, Texas (population 13,747, a quarter the size of the college I went to). I made my husband and my two daughters (and even my cousin Caitlin who came with us on this trip) get out and take a picture with this sign. At the last second, as the baby was crying and the toddler was whining, I just looked up and snapped one last photo of this sign. I eventually had a black and white made of it and I've always loved it but the "4" part of "Dumas 4" never meant much to me. I always planned that our family would be a family of 5 eventually. Today though, it reminds me that when I snapped that photo, on the side of the highway, in 100 degree heat, God knew I would need a sign. Dumas 4. It is, and always was, His plan for my life. I'm thankful for my sign. I needed a sign. I'd like to have that sign. I wonder what the fine is for stealing a sign that reads "Dumas 4." It might be worth it.
THE ONE
I was 16 years old when I first saw him. Our eyes met and I heard a voice say “He’s THE ONE.” I remember thinking, “He’s the one I’m going to talk to tonight? Or is he the one that is going to embarrass me tonight? No way is he THE ONE. That’s just crazy.” But he was THE ONE. I just knew it. Since the day we met he has been THE ONE. He is THE ONE that laughs at my jokes. When I need someone to believe in me, he is THE ONE. He knows which meals require a small fork vs. a regular fork. He goes through the paper and pulls out the ads and cartoons I might like because he is THE ONE that knows I don’t like to touch newsprint. He is THE ONE that makes me a mug full of ice water at night because he knows I will want it but I won’t realize I want it until I get all tucked in and won’t want to get back up. He’s THE ONE that bathes the kids because he knows I need those 30 minutes all to myself. He is THE ONE that loves the freckles on my skin, and taught me to love them too. He is THE ONE that can go to the mall and come home with an outfit I love and it actually fits. He is THE ONE that loves my red hair. He was THE ONE that held our babies when they were moments old. He is THE ONE that will be with me to watch our children grow. He is THE ONE that loves me. He is the THE ONLY one that I have ever loved. He is THE ONE.
2 comments:
who is person??
person is you
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