Dumas 4: May 2008

Dumas 4

Before we are moms, we are women. Before we are women, we are girls. Before we are girls we are children. Few things have stayed constant in my life through all of these stages. My family, my faith and the desire to be a mother. I loved baby dolls as a child. I would enter a world where I was in control of those around me and they had to do what I told them. I foolishly thought that would happen when I became a mother. When I was a girl, I decided I would have 3 children. Two girls and a boy, just as my mother had. I foolishly thought that I got to decide these things when I became a mother. When I became a woman, I decided I would also have a wonderful career alongside these 3 perfect children. I foolishly thought I could do it all. As I lay here in bed recovering from a very simple surgery that had lasting effects on my ability to have more children, there is a photo in my direct line of sight. Its a black and white photo that I cherish. It is from a vacation we took before Emma was even 1 year old. We went to Colorado for a week in the summer to escape the heat of Texas, and the busyness of life. On our way home we stopped in Dumas, TX for a picture. There are not that many people who have the honor of having a last name like Dumas. It is often mispronounced, I'm sure my husband was teased terribly as a child, and I'm certain my daughters will hate it when they hit the 'tween years. But I married into this name. It came with the man I love so I like it. Just before you get to Dumas, Texas, there is a sign that reads "Dumas 4" indicating that you are just 4 miles from the thriving metropolis of Dumas, Texas (population 13,747, a quarter the size of the college I went to). I made my husband and my two daughters (and even my cousin Caitlin who came with us on this trip) get out and take a picture with this sign. At the last second, as the baby was crying and the toddler was whining, I just looked up and snapped one last photo of this sign. I eventually had a black and white made of it and I've always loved it but the "4" part of "Dumas 4" never meant much to me. I always planned that our family would be a family of 5 eventually. Today though, it reminds me that when I snapped that photo, on the side of the highway, in 100 degree heat, God knew I would need a sign. Dumas 4. It is, and always was, His plan for my life. I'm thankful for my sign. I needed a sign. I'd like to have that sign. I wonder what the fine is for stealing a sign that reads "Dumas 4." It might be worth it.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 32. Yes you read that right, 32. I know what you are thinking, she looks too young to be 32 but its true. I was born on May 21, 1976. I am a proud bicentennial baby. I had a wonderful day thanks to my wonderful family. Mom and Leslie took me out to lunch and we played hookie from work (one of the benefits of owning the place!) We went shoe shopping all afternoon We picked up the girls from school then just kept shopping! For dinner, we met up with Dad, John, Craig and Carrie at La Hacienda for margaritas and yummy Mexican food. John even ran out after we were home from dinner to get me a cake. He made sure to have 3 candles on one side and 2 on the other because, as I said, I am 32 now. I'm happy to be 32. Everything I wanted as a kid, you had to be 30 something to have. Kids, a great husband, nice house etc. So to me, its like I have arrived! I'm finally the age I have felt for a long time. I think I was always in my thirties even when I was in my twenties. So Happy Birthday to me!