I start my day with Brooke asking for the 100th time if she can have a bra. She’s 8. Why does an 8 year old need a bra? She doesn’t. She is bombarded, however, by the message that she does. When we go to stores that sell clothing for girls her age, they have bras. Her favorite TV stars are photographed with their bra straps showing. So she thinks she needs one. I put her off again. “We’ll see.”
So we head out to a fun day camp for the girls! They love this camp because they get to jump and play. I love it because they come home exhausted and go to bed easily. But today, when I go to pick them up, they are not loving it. Brooke is crying and Emma is consoling her. A little bully has ruined their summer day. I’m so mad I can’t see straight. This little girl was mean to my daughters, taught them words that I don’t even use, and even showed them attitude I was hoping they would not see until they were at least 13.
After a long day we settle in for a little bit of family time. Emma decides today is the day she would like to learn to braid. Fabulous. I am fresh out of patience and she is a little young for the task. This should go well. After a bit of frustrating practice on her doll, we switch to thread. Still a challenge. Then, eureka. The light bulb goes off and she begins to braid. I give her back the doll and she puts little braids all over that doll. She completely got it. She learned something new today in just an hour. I’m so proud.
Bullies, braids and bras. 3 more things nobody EVER told me to prepare for before we decided to have babies. I’m adding them to my list. It’s a long list.
Dumas 4
Before we are moms, we are women. Before we are women, we are girls. Before we are girls we are children. Few things have stayed constant in my life through all of these stages. My family, my faith and the desire to be a mother. I loved baby dolls as a child. I would enter a world where I was in control of those around me and they had to do what I told them. I foolishly thought that would happen when I became a mother. When I was a girl, I decided I would have 3 children. Two girls and a boy, just as my mother had. I foolishly thought that I got to decide these things when I became a mother. When I became a woman, I decided I would also have a wonderful career alongside these 3 perfect children. I foolishly thought I could do it all. As I lay here in bed recovering from a very simple surgery that had lasting effects on my ability to have more children, there is a photo in my direct line of sight. Its a black and white photo that I cherish. It is from a vacation we took before Emma was even 1 year old. We went to Colorado for a week in the summer to escape the heat of Texas, and the busyness of life. On our way home we stopped in Dumas, TX for a picture. There are not that many people who have the honor of having a last name like Dumas. It is often mispronounced, I'm sure my husband was teased terribly as a child, and I'm certain my daughters will hate it when they hit the 'tween years. But I married into this name. It came with the man I love so I like it. Just before you get to Dumas, Texas, there is a sign that reads "Dumas 4" indicating that you are just 4 miles from the thriving metropolis of Dumas, Texas (population 13,747, a quarter the size of the college I went to). I made my husband and my two daughters (and even my cousin Caitlin who came with us on this trip) get out and take a picture with this sign. At the last second, as the baby was crying and the toddler was whining, I just looked up and snapped one last photo of this sign. I eventually had a black and white made of it and I've always loved it but the "4" part of "Dumas 4" never meant much to me. I always planned that our family would be a family of 5 eventually. Today though, it reminds me that when I snapped that photo, on the side of the highway, in 100 degree heat, God knew I would need a sign. Dumas 4. It is, and always was, His plan for my life. I'm thankful for my sign. I needed a sign. I'd like to have that sign. I wonder what the fine is for stealing a sign that reads "Dumas 4." It might be worth it.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
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