Dumas 4

Before we are moms, we are women. Before we are women, we are girls. Before we are girls we are children. Few things have stayed constant in my life through all of these stages. My family, my faith and the desire to be a mother. I loved baby dolls as a child. I would enter a world where I was in control of those around me and they had to do what I told them. I foolishly thought that would happen when I became a mother. When I was a girl, I decided I would have 3 children. Two girls and a boy, just as my mother had. I foolishly thought that I got to decide these things when I became a mother. When I became a woman, I decided I would also have a wonderful career alongside these 3 perfect children. I foolishly thought I could do it all. As I lay here in bed recovering from a very simple surgery that had lasting effects on my ability to have more children, there is a photo in my direct line of sight. Its a black and white photo that I cherish. It is from a vacation we took before Emma was even 1 year old. We went to Colorado for a week in the summer to escape the heat of Texas, and the busyness of life. On our way home we stopped in Dumas, TX for a picture. There are not that many people who have the honor of having a last name like Dumas. It is often mispronounced, I'm sure my husband was teased terribly as a child, and I'm certain my daughters will hate it when they hit the 'tween years. But I married into this name. It came with the man I love so I like it. Just before you get to Dumas, Texas, there is a sign that reads "Dumas 4" indicating that you are just 4 miles from the thriving metropolis of Dumas, Texas (population 13,747, a quarter the size of the college I went to). I made my husband and my two daughters (and even my cousin Caitlin who came with us on this trip) get out and take a picture with this sign. At the last second, as the baby was crying and the toddler was whining, I just looked up and snapped one last photo of this sign. I eventually had a black and white made of it and I've always loved it but the "4" part of "Dumas 4" never meant much to me. I always planned that our family would be a family of 5 eventually. Today though, it reminds me that when I snapped that photo, on the side of the highway, in 100 degree heat, God knew I would need a sign. Dumas 4. It is, and always was, His plan for my life. I'm thankful for my sign. I needed a sign. I'd like to have that sign. I wonder what the fine is for stealing a sign that reads "Dumas 4." It might be worth it.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Grow up!

While I don't want to rush my girls to grow up too fast, I am really looking forward to an end to girl drama.  I want them to find (AND BE) friends that just love you and enjoy your company.  Stop competing and start encouraging.  Stop being jealous and start celebrating.  Stop snubbing each other and start speaking to each other.  Stop being fake friends and start being real.  If someone hurts your feelings, tell them.  If you hurt someone, apologize.  People are flawed and friendship is not always easy but its worth it.  One day something awful will happen in your life and you will need a friend.  You will need someone to answer the phone when you call and drop everything they are doing to be by your side.  Be that friend and seek out that kind of person to be your friend.  Don't be hateful to those that create drama, but don't engage with her.  You have no idea why she needs that attention and its not your place to judge.  At various times,  my girls have been on both sides of the spectrum.  I've had moms call me to report my girl causing drama, and I've seen my girls sad because they were the topic of the latest gossip.  It's sad to me that the phase of life that allows you to spend hours and hours with friends, is also the phase of life when girls fill that time with drama.  When you grow up and you have a family, a job, responsibilities, you will yearn for those hours with friends.  And when you finally carve away a few hours to spend with your BFF, I promise you won't waste it with gossip and drama.  So please don't grow up too fast, but maybe mature a little quicker.


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