Dumas 4
Before we are moms, we are women. Before we are women, we are girls. Before we are girls we are children. Few things have stayed constant in my life through all of these stages. My family, my faith and the desire to be a mother. I loved baby dolls as a child. I would enter a world where I was in control of those around me and they had to do what I told them. I foolishly thought that would happen when I became a mother. When I was a girl, I decided I would have 3 children. Two girls and a boy, just as my mother had. I foolishly thought that I got to decide these things when I became a mother. When I became a woman, I decided I would also have a wonderful career alongside these 3 perfect children. I foolishly thought I could do it all. As I lay here in bed recovering from a very simple surgery that had lasting effects on my ability to have more children, there is a photo in my direct line of sight. Its a black and white photo that I cherish. It is from a vacation we took before Emma was even 1 year old. We went to Colorado for a week in the summer to escape the heat of Texas, and the busyness of life. On our way home we stopped in Dumas, TX for a picture. There are not that many people who have the honor of having a last name like Dumas. It is often mispronounced, I'm sure my husband was teased terribly as a child, and I'm certain my daughters will hate it when they hit the 'tween years. But I married into this name. It came with the man I love so I like it. Just before you get to Dumas, Texas, there is a sign that reads "Dumas 4" indicating that you are just 4 miles from the thriving metropolis of Dumas, Texas (population 13,747, a quarter the size of the college I went to). I made my husband and my two daughters (and even my cousin Caitlin who came with us on this trip) get out and take a picture with this sign. At the last second, as the baby was crying and the toddler was whining, I just looked up and snapped one last photo of this sign. I eventually had a black and white made of it and I've always loved it but the "4" part of "Dumas 4" never meant much to me. I always planned that our family would be a family of 5 eventually. Today though, it reminds me that when I snapped that photo, on the side of the highway, in 100 degree heat, God knew I would need a sign. Dumas 4. It is, and always was, His plan for my life. I'm thankful for my sign. I needed a sign. I'd like to have that sign. I wonder what the fine is for stealing a sign that reads "Dumas 4." It might be worth it.
Lobsters
I’m fairly certain that I have seen every single episode of “Friends.” It started in college when my roommates would all get together on Thursday nights to watch the show together. I still enjoy the reruns shown in syndication several times a day if I happen to catch them. Like many from my generation, quotes from the show enter my vocabulary when least expected. My very favorite was spoken by the prophetic Phoebe. When Ross and Rachel finally got back together (for the 2nd time, or maybe the 3rd) she just smiled and said, “He’s her lobster!” You see, supposedly, lobsters mate for life. I don’t care if it’s true or not. I love the thought of two little lobsters holding claws and staying together forever. I believe nothing can get between these two lobsters because they are always holding claws. I didn’t see it on the Discovery Channel but I’m just sure they don’t let anything get between them. If a predator comes, I bet they scamper away together. If and when they have baby lobsters, I bet they just run around their parent lobsters, but never come between them. That’s how my husband and I see our marriage. We’ve got our claws clamped firmly to each other. We even affectionately call each other “lobster.” Just like the lobsters, we will be together for life.
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